Thursday, January 08, 2009

This One's For You Jerry!!

• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
• Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
• Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
• Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
• Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
• There is no chin behind Chuck Norris's beard. There is only another fist.
• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
• Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
• Chuck Norris's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
• Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
• Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
• Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
• Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
• Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.


6 comments:

Lisa said...

ygrace09I'm scared of Chuck Norris!

NOT! :O)

Lisa said...

sorry about the "blooper" in my previous comment. my fingers got a bit happy...:O)

Anonymous said...

I'm right behind Chuck...most of what was said is also true about me. Give me a couple of more years and you can put my name in place of his. Thanks for thinking of me!!!

The Freds said...

WOW1 I never knew he was that tough. Funny stuff.

Tara D. said...

I'm the same about the watch thing, I KNOW what time it is! Look out!

Patty said...

He is one pretty tough cookie!